Gaddfi’s Body Examined By Scientists – DNA Shows He Was Love Child of Sheep Farmer and Livestock!

October 24, 2011

In a stunning feat of investigative journalism, DNA samples of former dictator Muamma Gaddafi showed he was a half human half sheep crossbreed.

“This explains a lot”, said long time oppressed citizen Adama Zarruq, “Whenever I walked by Gaddfi, he really smelled.”

When questioned as to how such a scientific breakthrough was possible, Tomato Weekly staff scientist, Brett Brigham Brighton Brough had this to say, “Well, I guess if you have sex with a sheep, you can get a sheep baby.”

Just how this sheep baby was able to rise above such humble beginnings of grazing for grass and freely pooping in the wind to becoming leader of the country of Libya is anyone’s guess. A popular theory now circling the Internet is that he was a puppet and the real power behind the thrown was some other mysterious and unknown personage or country of power.

“It could be anyone, or anything, maybe another crossbreed?” said political commentator Lex Lug. “Yes, I could see this being perhaps a human-dog crossbreed, ya know, controlling the human-sheep crossbreed. It only makes sense really.”

Since this news story has been released, all of Gaddfi’s DNA has been seized by the authorities. Immediately, conspiracy websites have lit up claiming there is something more going on at the highest levels of power.

“I’m telling you, this is all a plot. We probably made him in the mid-west and air dropped him in!” said conspiracy website leader Dark Darth. “This happens all the time, we make some genetic mutation, throw them into a country and they do our bidding.”

Military and government officials could not be reached for comment.

Whatever the means this sheep-human crossbreed used to gain power, he’s lost it now. And as the old saying goes, dead sheep-men tell no tales. We’ll bring you more as we learn it in this breaking story.


October 2011
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