New York City To Create Real Fashion Police – Will Arrest Anyone Wearing Last Year’s Prada

October 24, 2011

Mayor Bloomberg’s office released a statement today stating that it would begin to employ over 1,000 new officers of the law whose sworn duty will be to protect the public from fashion faux pas.

“These brave men and women, who have been trained in all aspects of fashion, will be patrolling our streets to make sure blatant and unwarranted fashion choices will be punished accordingly” Mayor Bloomberg was reported as saying.

Just what types of faux pas was not released leaving the public to scramble to make mad dashes to outlet malls from New Jersey to Maryland. One fact that has surfaced is the use of last year’s Prada’s.

“It’s just disrespectful,” Prada spokesman Guy Gayness said, “we spend all this time designing these, finding kids to work in sweat shops, outsourcing to god awful hell holes around the world, just so you can have an uncomfortable walking experience but look good doing it. How dare you not buy this years!”

Backlash to the new policing agency came swiftly from advocacy groups wanting less fashion policing and more fashion awareness education. “How can we know how to not dress if we don’t know how to dress!” said advocacy group spokeswoman Gale Winderhaudin. Planned protests are scheduled to begin as soon as the winter lineup is released.

Regardless of protests or public outcry the policing agency is said to be moving forward. It will concentrate on offenders in downtown Manhattan only as a pilot program. If there is widespread acceptance, expect the agency to move into the other Burroughs in the city.


October 2011
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