New NRA Plan: A Hand Gun With Every Happy Meal!

January 15, 2013

In an effort to promote both safety and good health for our nation’s children, the NRA announced a partnership with a prominent national fast food retail chain to give away a gun with every happy meal. The deal, which NRA spokesman Gunny Gunserman said, “Will make us both safe and joyful,” will include a gun with your pink slime burger, sugar filled extra double large soda and deep fat fried Twinkies sticks. In a related story, the national fast food retail chain recently stated they were replacing all potatoes with a ‘Twinkie-like alternative’, Yum!

Long time gun owner and new mom Mary Christian Gunserman, no relation, had this to say, “Well, I love my guns and my son loves happy meals, “said Mary kissing both lightly,”so it’s a win win!”

When asked if school lunches would begin to come with a side of 9MM or a snub-nose revolver, Chancellor of public schools in Gunsaplentty, Texas, Mike Mikey Gunserman, no relation, had this to say. “You damn right they will!”

In the heat of the gun debate in this country, we at the Tomato argue for calmness and sanity. Extreme measures by all sides must be weighed against the common good. Let us all take a moment to remember those whose lives guns have affected, in all cities and states, and come to the table with a reasoned approach we can all agree to. Our country is built on compromise and the amazing ability to come together for the common good. Let us not forget that.


(as a result of the article, Tomato Weekly staff will no longer be reporting from Gunsaplentty,Texas)


January 2013
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