Archive for September, 2013

North Korea To Build Massive Sling Shot – Enter Space Race

September 22, 2013

In a move sure to enthrall twelve year old boys the world over, North Korea announced plans today to build a massive slingshot and begin launching capsules into space. Kim Jong-un, supreme leader and unicorn cavern guide, has reportedly ordered his military to build a massive sling shot as an answer to the world’s new […]

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Washington Redskins to Change Name to Washington Racists

September 14, 2013

In move sure to placate angry American Indians all over the world, the Washington Redskins today announced they would be changing their name to the Washington Racists. “Our team, our history, has a long since been founded in racism,” team spokesman Whitey McWhitester White. “Look, it’s simple. We were originally racists towards the American Indians. […]

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New Harvard Study Proves Eating Tomatoes is Natural Aphrodisiac

September 14, 2013

In a stunning announcement, first year students at Harvard have found that eating large quantities of tomatoes can be a natural aphrodisiac. Freshman Tommy Big Johnson Johnson had this to say, “Well, we were all sitting around, watching porn on the internet, and then someone brought in some tomatoes, and like, we were all really […]

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Jungle Gold Producer Proves Show Is Real – Discovery Channel Fires Crew

September 7, 2013

In a shocking admission sure to set Discovery Channel on fire, recent sub-producer Miles McMiles Mileston came forward and declared that the show that everyone believed was fake, is actually real. “I went into the execs offices with tapes proving that everything we were doing was 100% real. And they fired me,” Miles was quoted […]

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Tokyo Man Arrested For Throwing Lizards Into Fukushima Water

September 5, 2013

In a strange twist of 1950’s movie making memorabilia, a Tokyo man was arrested this week for throwing lizards into the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant’s contaminated water. Offices on the scene stated the man, who was unnamed, was attempting to create a Godzilla like creature so it could then breath fire on the damaged plant […]

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September 2013
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