Archive for October, 2013

Papa John’s CEO, John Schnatter Threatens to Send A Pizza A Day To White House

October 29, 2013

In a stunning move of food-born threats, CEO and all around super evil rich person John Schnatter today stated he would start sending a pizza every hour to the White House if the Affordable Health Care law, also known as Obamacare, is not repealed. “Look, Mr. President, I know what’s in our food. I know […]

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NFL Football Player Commits Murder, Rape and theft on Saturday – Will Start Sunday

October 27, 2013

The NFL today announced that a top star of an unnamed NFL Franchise went on a criminal rampage this weekend. The unknown player allegedly killed his wife, rapped his dog and stole thousands of dollars from his mother in an attempt to purchase an AR-15 and use it on the field this Sunday. Even though […]

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Nokia Plans to Produce Dumbwatch in Response to Samsung’s Galaxy Gear

October 26, 2013

Nokia has announced that it is producing a not-so-smart watch called the Nokia Nitwit. The device will have an analog-style circular dial and hour and minute hands that are nonfunctional. The hands can be adjusted with the crown of the watch but are unable to keep time. Each watch will come with an Android app […]

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Billy Bob Thornton Announces Open Casting Call for New Musical

October 26, 2013

Crossfire Sound and Pictures, the production company co-owned by Billy Bob Thornton and Dwight Yoakam, will hold an open casting call next month for various roles in the upcoming theatrical production Sling Blade: The Musical. Arnold Robinson, Thornton’s publicist, announced in a press release today that the production is slated to debut Off-Broadway next summer […]

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October 2013
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