Politics

Senator Reid Confirms – Boehner’s Have Brains!

November 30, 2012

In a stunning scientific breakthrough, Senate Majority leader Harry Reid hinted that Boehner’s have brains by saying he wasn’t sure where they are located. This confirms long time held beliefs that a penis can actually think for a grown man.  The Tomato Weekly consulted scientists, feminists, and chauvinists to get their reaction. The general consensus we received is, except […]

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Vice President Joe Biden Gets Lost In Costco

November 30, 2012

In a stunning move proving his own ability to lose his way, Vice President Joe Biden got lost inside Washington DC’s newly opened Costco. Camera crews searched isles while shoppers looked under carts trying to find the Vice President. When he was finally found, with his arms and legs wrapped around 200 lbs of uncooked […]

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President Barack Obama’s Nationality Uncovered – He’s Assyrian!

October 23, 2011

In one of the boldest examples of investigative journalism on the planet, the Tomato Weekly has uncovered President Obama’s actual birth place and time. President Obama was actually born in the ancient country of Assyria some 2500 years ago. This Semitic Akkadian kingdom, which was dissolved in 600BC, was a home to armies who impaled […]

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